Family photo from around 1988

Maryam: “For me right now, home means here in US, where the kids and grandkids are. I would like to visit Iran to see my relatives, but that is not safe now. I feel the most at home when I am cooking and having people over.”

Mahsa: “For me is the same, cooking and having people over means home, my mother passed that on to me. The byproduct of cooking is what’s important. Food brings people together. I think that’s the sense of home, to just have people and connections to help with the feeling of loneliness when you first migrate to a new country."

Mina: “I don’t think I’ll ever feel completely at home in the US. I would feel at home in Iran, but not the Iran we see today. I would say I feel most at home when I am around our family and our culture, as we can feel and be ourselves when we’re around those from a similar culture.”

Maryam with one of her granddaughters

“I am who I am because of my Bibi – my Mom. She was a very strong, wise woman. She never went to high school, but she was the one that sent my brother to the United States for a better life when he was 16. 

Sometimes, I’m told “oh you have to love yourself first”, but you know, I always put other people first, and then myself. All I want in my life is the best for my kids. This was always my goal to have the best life for them. And now, I want to raise my grandkids.”

My sister and I are workaholics and it’s not easy to tell us “you have to retire”. I can’t retire. I feel the most alive when I am helping others."

Mina

“The new generation is truly changing how women are treated, but my mom’s generation in Iran was not as vocal and risky, from what I recall.

There is so much change happening in Iran. There are more and more women showing up without a hijab. In the colleges, they broke down metal barriers between men and women, so they can dine together. There has been enough institutional change that we may not to go back to how things were before, but changing the government, that is really hard.

When the Iran protest started, I was struggling at first in how I show up at work as nobody was really talking about the Iran Protest and the injustices. This makes me think of the change curve…Emotions can range from anger, to resentment, then to acceptance and change…and it looks different for everyone.

For me, I felt a need to stand up for the Iranians at our company, which was originally about 20 of us, and after seeking out to see if there were more of us working at the company, we were closer to 50 or 60 of us. I started talking to people at work who were amazing partners to bring to life education on Iran and people were receptive and showed empathy. This was all while I was grieving quietly inside so in a way it was therapeutic to share the story and hopes for a better future with strangers. 

My personal goal is to be at a different place by the time I’m 50. It’s not that I don’t want to work, as it’s important for me, but perhaps something different that is closer to bringing more diversity and inclusion into corporations, as many have limited middle eastern woman representation, and especially in leadership roles. I have been working since I was 11 and life is too short. I want to spend my 50’s to 80’s to do more hobbies on the side. I like photography, going to National Parks, traveling, hiking. Ideal retirement is to be an activities director at a cool resort—perhaps at the grand Tetons.”

Mahsa

"I think the core issue is that we are abusing religion, here in the US as well. A lot of oppression we face is because somebody, under the name of religion, said this is the way it should be, and you have to abide by these rules. That takes years of undoing, not to mention the catastrophic impact of false truths along the way."